The cop wrote me a ticket for loitering and left. You bet my feelings were hurt I told my father I had to choose my mother over him to live with when they divorced because I was marrying Steven Douglas Smith as soon as I finished high school. To my daddy, this was a slap in the Cashanova Bulhar rap disco revoluce shirt in other words I will buy this face because he was not picked and considered Steven beneath me. I was disowned for 33 years. The truth was I would not let him know I was knocked up for fear he’d arrange with the courts for me to be sent again to another detention facility even worse than the last. I was living in Spain, where tipping is neither expected nor common because most waiters are professionals and make a living wage. However, we lived in Malaga, on the costa del sol, and many waiters there were poorly paid immigrants. I always left these hard-working guys a tip. One lunch companion, a middle-class Brit, habitually tried to scoop up the money and pocket it. I had to either defend my right to leave a gratuity or ignore her theft. I chose the former. She was totally Unembarrassed, which shocked me.
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